Fill the Cracks
by runningincirclesagain
Summary: Dean's at his lowest, and Gabriel is determined to lift him up again.
1. Chapter 1

He finally did it. It got too much for him, and he did it. Sam had given up, Cas had disappeared, and Dean was left all alone. He thought he was used to it but something snapped. The alcohol wasn't enough, he tried to drink away his sorrows every night but it just meant he felt even worse the next day.

A couple of months passed before Dean finally decided to give in. He sat himself in his motel room on the bed and shut the curtains, his hand tightly in a fist and a bottle of sleeping pills which he had needed every night in the other. The substance that had stopped him from tossing and turning at night would now stop him forever. He prayed to Cas one last time.

Waited.

Nothing.

And with that, the pills in his hand were replaced with an empty bottle. Before long, he was out.

Bright light consumed him and a feeling of serenity was all he knew as Dean's eyes slowly reopened. "Is this Heaven?", Dean thought to himself as he groaned internally, "Well it's a pretty crap paradise". Then a sharp pain shot into him. Not Heaven. A quiet beeping slowly grew in amplitude and the white light gradually came into shape, he was in a hospital room. He tried to lift himself but the pain shot through him again, faster and sharper than before so, he collapsed back onto the bed in resign.

"Try to relax, you'll only hurt yourself", a familiar voice gently cooed from the side of the bed.

Dean jumped slightly in surprise before swallowing it down, "Cas?", he whispered roughly, barely audibly.

The voice chuckled slightly, "Not even close".

Dean's head slowly rolled to the blurry figure to his left and squinted in confusion.

"Don't you remember me?... Oh, wait!", the voice chuckled again before Dean felt a hand on his head and his vision focused. With that, his eyes shot open wide.

"Gabriel?...", Dean asked in surprise, "But... But I thought you were dead...".

The angel rolled his eyes, "You're the last person I'd expect to be shocked at someone coming back from the dead, pretty rich", he said as he smiled warmly, "and anyway, I thought you were dead too for a while, evidently not", he continued as he reached a hand out to stoke Dean's forehead.

The hunter's eyebrows lowered as he moved away from the touch slowly, "Why are you here?... What do you want?".

Gabriel tilted his head and frowned slightly, "What? I'm not allowed to check on you?".

"Not unless you want something from me...".

"Well, I don't", he sighed out, "I just thought you could use someone being here when you woke up".

Dean was too tired and too resigned to question the archangel so simply looked to the ceiling. "Why am I alive?".

"Someone found you and called an ambulance, they were only just able to save you".

Dean let out an annoyed grumble as he shut his eyes and frowned, "They should have left me to die", he whispered, causing Gabriel to scowl, then sigh and stroke Dean's arm gently.

"You've had it rough, I know, trust me, and that's why you want it all to end, I would too... But I'm giving you a chance here, yeah? I can show you a better world, one worth living in... Will you let me do that?".

He stayed silent for a few seconds before nodding slowly but unsurely.

"Good", Gabriel said brightly with a smile as he stood up and pressed a kiss to Dean's forehead, "Sleep now", and with that there was a flutter of wings and one less angel in the room.

Dean then cursed under his breath at the angel and his empty offers, wondering what the hell he could be planning this time before he let the overwhelming drowsiness take over and he drifted off to sleep again.


	2. Chapter 2

A day and several tests later, Dean was still in hospital, apparently he was in 'no condition to leave'.  
>"What a load of crap", he though, "I feel fine". He only had to attempt to get up again to be disproved.<br>The nurse was hot though, he tried flirting with her but she didn't seem interested. Dean just came to the conclusion she wasn't in to "suicidal maniacs" as the doctor so poetically put it when him and Dean met a disagreement.  
>He also drifted off a lot, and every time he woke up he would find a cupcake or cookie next to his bed. He highly doubted it was any of the hospital staff, and Sam or Cas wouldn't have known he was there, so he came to the conclusion it must have been Gabriel. The idiot.<br>"I prefer pie, you know", he teased the angel when approaching him about it, causing Gabriel to chuckle.  
>"I'll keep that in mind", he replied with a smile as he sat by the bed again the evening after his first visit.<br>"Did you bring any more?".  
>"Nope, thought I'd mix it up a bit, I have flowers this time", Gabriel chuckled as he placed them on the table.<br>Dean rolled his eyes but couldn't hold back a small smile, "I'm not your sick grandma".  
>"I just thought they'd brighten up the room", he said with a shrug, "besides, you should be able to go soon, if not tomorrow the day after".<br>"Where am I supposed to go?...", the hunter sighed.  
>"I'll find us somewhere nice", Gabriel responded happily, "maybe Casa Erotica", he continued playfully with a wiggle of his eyebrows, causing Dean to let out a small laugh.<br>"I'll trust your judgement".  
>"That's my boy, we'll do that then", he said with a nod, "I'll swing by to pick you up when you're ready", and with that, he was gone again.<br>As he realised the angel had left, Dean looked back to the table where the flowers had been set, and noticed a warm slice of apple pie sitting by them. A smile crept onto his face as he happily nibbled on the dessert before setting the plate down and laying back in bed to watch the television.


	3. Chapter 3

_As they buried themselves further in the sheets they could feel each other's skin, warm and soft against the other's. The hot breath on their necks was a constant reminder of where they were and who they were with. Soft kisses and gentle nips to pale flesh set the tone of the affair, this was more than they were used to, it wasn't casual sex anymore, they were making love, Dean knew it, Castiel knew it, all that was left was for someone to say it, but neither of them had the courage nor the confidence to mention it so far._  
><em>At the end of the night, their legs intertwined and their bodies pressed together once more as they held each other close, inhaling and savouring one another's scent. Dean's fingers slowly ran themselves through Castiel's hair and down the back of his neck, making the angel occasionally shiver, but equally comforting him as he was constantly made aware of his company. As this went on Castiel would let his fingers trail gently up and down the hunter's side, too light to scratch but hard enough to not tickle, just right, relaxing even. Comforting if nothing else.<em>  
><em>After a good while of this, a small whisper escaped Cas' mouth.<em>  
><em>"Dean?".<em>  
><em>"Yes, Angel?".<em>  
><em>"There's something I need to tell you... But I'm not quite sure how you'll react".<em>  
><em>"Try me", Dean responded softly as he pressed a reassuring kiss to his partner's forehead.<em>  
><em>The room fell into a deadly silence after this which lasted for anything from 10 seconds to 2 minutes, neither of them could really tell, but it was shortly shattered by another timid whisper from Castiel, "I love you".<em>  
><em>Silence again.<em>  
><em>Dean's touch slowly faded and Castiel could feel the thump of Dean's heart against his chest becoming faster and harder.<em>  
><em>"...Dean?", the angel whispered again. But still, silence. "Okay... Yes, I understand...", and with that he slowly tore his body from Dean's and rolled himself so his back faced his partner, staring at the wall. Dean also rolled the other way as he let his mind toil on to find the right response. He loved Castiel too, or at least he thought he did, his biggest concern was that he would requite Castiel's feelings but end up contradicting with his actions. <em>  
><em>Then with a deep breath, Dean responded with a quiet, "I love you too", and turned around to face the angel again, but was instead greeted with the hollow dent of Castiel's form in the mattress and the fading, signature scent he had not long before appreciated but now longed for again.<em>


End file.
